Lately I have been stuck. Feeling like I am all alone (even though I have Thomas with me, there is only so much conversation that can happen with a seven month old). Kellen has been working double duty the last couple of weeks and will be for at least one more. And I have come to realize, that I don't really have anyone that I can just go do something with anymore. And that has been really hard for me. Occasionally I will get the chance to go visit with someone, and it makes my day. And that should be good enough for me. But sometimes it isn't. Like right now, when I actually see and talk to Kellen for maybe an 1 1/2 a day, it has been really depressing to me. Granted, it isn't as bad as it use to get for me, but there are times when I just want to huddle and cry.
Well, tonight I realized that one thing that might make me feel like the above picture, is that I don't feel like I can turn to Heavenly Father for help. It is my own stupidity, but it is one of those "nope, I am okay. No need to bother you with what is going on in my life" type of things. And I also sometimes wonder if I do that because I worry (though I shouldn't) that I WON'T be important to him.
I wonder are the things I am feeling a big enough deal that I should bother him with it. Would it matter to him?
And as I was reading today, I came across a quote that, for me, was an answer.
The single word that is most often used to describe Christ and His life is love. Everything about the life of Christ radiates love in the broadest and warmest sense of the word. He healed all who came or were brought to him. He attended to the needs of all people, including those who were physically disabled and those who were emotionally and spiritually crippled. The blind, the lame, the possessed, the proud, the adulterous, and even the dead were recipients of His healing love. He attended to their immediate and long-term needs. His teaching was another form of His healing love. He taught all who would listen, the humble and the haughty, the right and the poor, the sinner and the saint. (Robert C. Oaks, Ensign April 03)
For the mountains shall depart, and the mountains be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.I am so glad that he is always there for us waiting for us to turn to him.
Why don't we live in the same town? :( Love you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, but I wish we did.
ReplyDeleteMy oh my I feel the same way. It is so difficult for me to leave the house, but I crave more interaction with adults. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. Love you much! Keep your chin up!
ReplyDeleteThat is a great quote. Remember it always! And one thing that helps cheer yourself up is service, so maybe look for opportunities in your ward. It works for me :)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I never left a comment on your family pictures post: They are gorgeous! I love the one where Thomas is on your back :) So cute!
Amanda!! I totally feel like that sometimes too. Why do we make it so difficult for ourselves when we can just turn to the lord for the strength that we need?? Im so sorry things havent been going the best for you! My heart hurt for you when I was reading you post. I love ya lots and hope things will start getting better soon! :)
ReplyDeleteLove you tons :) You are and will always be my favorite daughter. Hang in there babe.
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