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Guys!

 My photo was used on the LDS facebook page! Can I say that e-mail made my night! Click here if you want to see my photo!

Overwhelmed

I feel so overwhelmed with life right now. 

With good things and with the bad. 

Some of the good are Time Out for Women.

Can I just say that even some of the songs had things that I 

specifically needed to hear? 

Who knew that SO many of my questions I have been asking for the last

few months would be answered in the course of two days through talks and music??

I sure didn't. I knew it would be uplifting, and maybe even have a few hints at answers or even

some answers. But I did not expect to find that EVERYTHING had some type

of answer to the questions that I have been struggling to get an answer too. 

So I am overwhelmed with answered prayers...

I am also overwhelmed with my kids. Each one. And yes, I realize that there

are only two of them, and that they are almost three (just over a month) and barely a year, but these 

kiddos make my life! 

And yes, while almost everyday I am asking myself;

'did I really sign up for this mommy stuff?'

But then I have sweet moments where Zeke wants to be held only by me

and can't seem to get enough of me when I am home...

And when I just can't help but weep and Thomas comes up to me, asking me if I am 

okay, and telling me he is there for me and that I will be okay. And that he loves me. Then, he 

gives me the biggest hug and kiss that he can. 

So I am overwhelmed with the love of my kids...

But, I also overwhelmed with the struggles of day to day life. 

I am worried about changes coming to Kellen's job.

I am worried about paying off student loan and other debts.

I am worried about how long we will have to stay at my mom's til we can move out 

on our own.

I am worried about how I feel like I have lost the 'spark' I felt

I had in high school and college that helped me feel I could overcome anything.

I am worried that I don't feel like I can talk to Heavenly Father like I use too...

And that last one worries me most of all. 

Yes, I did get some answers to that one at TOFW, but I have this thing

where it takes a while for things to really sink in and for my brain to "reprogram".

I use to feel so close to him, I had truly felt like I always had a prayer in my heart. 

Now, I struggle to approach him at all. 

I am not sure what the change was. I don't even really remember it happening. 

All I know now is that I am NOT where I want to be now.

I WANT  to feel what I felt before. 

I still know what I knew then, 

I just need to rekindle that intense flame that let me know

that He was really there for me... all the time. 

Have you ever felt the craving to have back what you once were?

That is one of the overwhelming feelings I feel today. 

And also to feel that IT IS still possible for me to feel that. 

So here is to being overwhelmed with His love again...

Family Pictures

Finally got some family pictures taken. Was a bit of a struggle, but glad to have some new ones. Now just need to get a few good ones of the boys alone and I will be set for a year! :)